I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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