she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
