Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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