I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
