I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
