I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
