Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
