how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
