Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
