He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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