the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize