South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
