i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
