Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
