Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
