I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
