wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
this is an emotional support booty call
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
