Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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