she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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