come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i think i just naturally attract stoners
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize