Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nut hugger
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Found your dick twin last night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
