am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
