cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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