Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
