Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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