you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
