if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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