i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
