Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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