just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
