dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
