i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
