Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
