You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
