Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
