My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
