did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
