dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
