bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize