I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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