Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
