i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
