sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
