I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
