Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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