i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
