Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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