I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize