he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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