I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
