Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Please, let me fuck your mom
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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