that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
