I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
