I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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