someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
