i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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