Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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