somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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