so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
