As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
