I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
