Dual....:-)
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
