The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is wine microwaveable?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize