all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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