Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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