Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
