I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
