Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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