apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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