for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize