Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
