Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
