whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
